SariRewrites's Xanga

Monday, September 17, 2007

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 22:29:00 GMT

I'm now at http://muntinsquares.blogspot.com/

first post there ...

In May last school year, I received promotional mail from Dell that enabled me to create a website easily for free (www.serenamay.com). I was hoping that it would gradually sort out my cluttered identities on networking sites (facebook.com, abandoned Xanga sites*), through virtual communication (AIM, MSN, emails, phone calls) and in real life (social circles in boarding school at Exeter, family/ old friends in Hong Kong). However, my lack of technological savvy limited how/ what I could express efficiently and stunted my motivation. And here I am to try anew.

My goal is still the same. I want to chronicle, linearize and expand on my flashes of fluttering thoughts. When I went to rural China this summer, I realized that a place keeps us sheltered from other aspects of ourselves that are attached to other places and people. As the blog becomes a record, I could piece together my different aspects and my motives to change how I present myself (or perhaps I change less than I think I do?). Continuing with the idea of change, in reality, everything happens in a *bang* and roll into blob. It is difficult to capture those moments in a fashion that is accessible. In writing, I unfold and layer the milliseconds of these moments to translate the effect. I linearize when narrating, and, in the process, mix in my perception. Often, perception is formed in retrospect, thus writing articulates the bangs/ blobs, while re-framing and re-molding them into something of their own.

I could do all this in a word document, but writing for an audience is meaningful. I feel more connected, and if I'm lucky I could hear from you. :)

* Why did I abandon Xanga? 1) I grew out of the name of my first one. 2) I came to boarding school, and Xanga is not so hot here. I still subscribe to check up on my friends at home though! 3) I lost interest in posting/ propping. It felt too much like a journal, and posts are expected to be quick accounts. I did not have the energy and determination to continue such a precedent. (I have for a while used the site to save private bits and unrefined pieces -- but this role has now been taken up by Gmail. Hmm.)

Snow Geese

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 09:16:33 GMT

Oh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!

What a task
to ask

of anything, or anyone,

yet it is ours,
and not by the century or the year, but by the hours.

One fall day I heard
above me, and above the sting of the wind, a sound
I did not know, and my look shot upward; it was

a flock of snow geese, winging it
faster than the ones we usually see,
and, being the color of snow, catching the sun

so they were, in part at least, golden. I

held my breath
as we do
sometimes
to stop time
when something wonderful
has touched us

as with a match,
which is lit, and bright,
but does not hurt
in the common way,

but delightfully,
as if delight
were the most serious thing
you ever felt.

The geese
flew on,
I have never seen them again.

Maybe I will, someday, somewhere.
Maybe I won't.
It doesn't matter.
What matters
is that, when I saw them,
I saw them
as through the veil, secretly, joyfully, clearly.

-- Mary Oliver

Wild Geese -- Mary Oliver

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 03:20:17 GMT

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

In Memory

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:44:04 GMT

of Patrick Logan.

Through Photos

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:29:05 GMT

Snow Ball, courtesy of Jill on the left

Bancroft dorm photo, courtesy of Laura P.

The Exonian Board Turnover ... 5:20 a.m. Sunday, courtesey of Claire A.

Cat Regio came back for E/A!! It's Komal there on the right. courtesy of Mel C.

Pep Rally bon fire, courtesy of Victoria SS

religion class, "Personhood and Belief," with Mr. Ramsey, courtesy of Dass N.

Harvard Psych Class, studying for finals, courtesy of Lisa Z.

spring dance concert '06, courtsey of Jill B.

Panama spring break last year, courtsey of Lauren H.

Jen's amazing surprise party for me, courtsey of Jen Y.

P.6C Reunion

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 14:24:14 GMT

It was but four years ago. The then chatty primary school girls, in little cliques, are now speaking of changes & the future (eh, and good men of course), catching on.

gum yat gin dou lei dei, ho hoi sum.

Lapses in Life

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 10:38:41 GMT

They are times when you work for three hours straight

and feel pretty good about yourself, then go on to waste the next twenty-eight.

As you walk by those store windows after the third pair of shoes

you¡¯ve bought in a week, instead of your face you look at how your chest is slumped,

how your back could make a leg of a triangle.On the way, perhaps amuse

yourself with the sight of a woman fixing her hair in her scrawny tank top

outside of Alpha Omega.You only see her back and her reflection

before thinking back to the lady counting bills at the post office counter

while ten people are waiting in line.On the bustling streets of Boston, you stop

and see two women holding hands, suddenly realizing how often we cannot reach

what we seek, when happiness often brings more pain and more reaching. If

you roll up your sleeves, you forget to pull them down;

if you¡¯ve been carrying a shoulder bag the whole day and change shoulders, in a jiff

the weight shrinks the day into a minute. Then you begin to wonder

whether comfort

is a misgiving.

*click below image*

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mon, 29 May 2006 00:24:19 GMT

Your Personality Profile

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart.
Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people.
You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile.

You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker.
You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side.
Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

A few excerpts

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 19:27:45 GMT

I believe.

I looked out the window one night, through the crisscrossing pane. The sky was azure; the snow was falling, sifting, disrupting the still blue. A highlighting strip of purple shone behind a web of branches. I put a coat on and slipped on a pair of gloves, borrowed from the friend whom I found. I thought I'd go outside, to visit my two shadows, under the double street lamps.

I admire the smoothness of the moment,
its weathered, etched smoothness,
its muddied smoothness.

yellow on white
red on red
and the veins that run through.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 20:45:47 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Avoidant	\|\|	10%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com